They say angels walk amongst us in disguise. And there are those who seems to have been gifted with unbelievable attributes which makes them best of both. It appeared highly unbelievable until he stumbled upon one.
"Beauty, is it really in the eyes of the beholder, or can it stand out distinctively? Something that compels you to turn your head to get another look at this beautiful girl who appears in the corner of your eye. Am I exaggerating her? Am I projecting a side of her which exists only in my imagination? Was she even real? If she was then why did I met her?" Shawn desperately demands answers to the questions which agitates his soul.
Everything was normal. No extraordinary signs, no tarot card predictions that told me I would be winning a PowerBall, and absolutely no preternatural messages from heaven. Ironically, great things often happen when one is least expecting it. Precisely, when one is not expecting anything at all.
Something great occurred to me too. Her name was Tennie.
She walked passed by and I couldn't resist her outstanding persona. Such strong yet meek character. I knew it instinctively that I would never be wrong about her.
Unspeakably beautiful. And so the first question got chiselled onto my heart. "Isn't she a surreal being? As if from another dimension?"
Before I could knew I caught myself stupidly starring at her. Those dark deep pupils placed inside the safety of mesmerizing little eyes starring back at me - she had already caught me a couple of times. I was sure she knew it.
She was an intense young woman, passionate, brimming with sheer genuine love for what she did. Somewhere I had seen myself in her; a part of me that past had brutally stolen away from me.
It had to be me and I made my first wise move. I walked up to her, pulled an empty chair, and with a wide smile, "Hello, Tennie." I was sure I wasn't entirely a stranger to her. After all, she had been noticing me.
Before I knew it we started talking, sharing moments which were simple in it's core but amazingly ecstatic.
Tennie and I had nothing in common on the outside. She was from another state, she had a different mother tongue with words with twisted pronunciation, had different taste for food and music - our cultural difference measured over three thousand kilometres. Yet on a deeper level, there existed something strange between us and I wasn't sure what it was.
Soon we developed a stronger connection. We laughed at the same jokes and most of the times they needn't have to be told. Tennie was the reason for that uncanny joy that filled my heart. Hardest of the days became most easiest ones.
"You know what Shawn. You're stupid... and dark." Her sarcastic and playful scorn, I loved those. Tennie was the only person I had known so far who would not offend me even when she hurled one of those racist comments in disguise. I saw something deeper in her fun-filled teasing remarks.
Sure there was something growing between us. I wouldn't believe anyone if they told me otherwise.
"Shawn, I think we should maintain distance. We've to be apart." I never saw it coming. It broke my heart. It was the day when her remarks were not merely playful mockery but had a concealed message. A heart-wrecking one.
A week passed. I couldn't hold my overpowering urge to talk to her again. I would have been stupid if I didn't talk to her, or even more of an idiot if I had waited for her to come to me. No, I would have never let that happen.
I grabbed the empty chair next to her - just like the first time we met. I foolishly smiled and looked into her eyes. She smiled, with a deep sigh she replied with one of those witty remarks. "Ah, you again. You scared me, you dark knight."
I wondered, "hadn't I been missing them."
"Tennie, I've got something for you."
"Huh?" she tried opening her little eyes in surprise.
"Don't strain on your eyes, Ten. They wouldn't open more."
"Shut up," she slapped on my arm.
"Here, I've got something for you." I pulled out a folded paper from my jeans pocket.
"What is it?"
"Um, well it's my grocery list."
"Um-hmm. Really?" She raised her eyebrows suggesting mild sarcasm.
"Kidding. A poem I wrote."
"Wow! Really? Oh damn I can't figure out what you have written, Shawn. Argh! You handwriting is nearly pathetic. I will read it when I get back home." I smiled.
"Bye Shawn." She shook hands.
"Bye Ten."
Shawn walked away while engraving her face into his heart without knowing it was the last time he would see her.
Mostly, life doesn't give reasons. After all life doesn't owe anyone anything. It is not always about finding meanings and answers, at least to those questions which are not meant to be answered. Not yet. Not that life wouldn't give answers - with time, yes it will, when the heart is truly ready to hear the truth.
Shawn often recalls her face. He pulls out the ketchup sachets from his bag. The ones she gave him once, which he slipped into this jacket pockets and never threw them. He doesn't know if she remember those moments at all. Of course she wouldn't have. After all, who cares about something which was meant to be thrown away.
Sometimes his eyes become wet. Though, he never fails to smile. Smile in the same way he used to. As if she was right in front of him.
He never fails to say, "Tennie, it's never a goodbye..."
Copyright (c) 2016 Shine Jayakumar
